Subject: Installing Love {Insp}
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jan 25 2000 - 03:49:49 EST
"Installing Love"
Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but
I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART, ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several
programs running right now. Is it okay to install
while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running, ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE,
LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically
erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating
system. It may remain in your permanent memory,
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE
will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a
module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE.
However, you have to completely turn off
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those
programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off, ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and
invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times
as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started
installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message
that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART.
Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only
the base program. You need to begin connecting
to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already.
What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM
NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What
does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common
problem. it means that the LOVE program is set up
to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been
run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it
means you have to "LOVE" your own machine
before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE?"
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following
files and then copy them to the "MYHEART"
directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and
begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you
need to delete SELFCRITICIZE.EXE from all
directories, and then empty your recycle bin
afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and
never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Wow! My HEART is filling up
with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my
monitor right now, and it shows that WARMTH.COM,
PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You
should be able to handle it from here. One more
thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and
its various modules to everybody you meet. They
will in turn share it with other people, and they will
return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help
CS Rep: You're very welcome.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:06 EST