Subject: Real Estate Definitions
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jan 25 2000 - 03:44:07 EST
"Contract Law & More"
The professor of a contract law class asked
one of his better students, "If you were to give
someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
"No! No! Think like a lawyer!" the outraged law
professor insisted.
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him 'I
hereby give and convey to you all and singular,
my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim
and advantages of and in, said orange, together
with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all
rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut,
freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the
same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind
and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter
or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever
nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in
anywise notwithstanding."
*********************************************************
"Real Estate Definitions"
Real estate is going up again. If you're looking
to start the new millennium (January 1st, 2001,
that is) in a new house, here are some helpful
translations of descriptions in Real Estate ads:
Sophisticated city living - Next to a noisy bar.
Old World Charm - Has some woodwork,
needs cleaning.
Contemporary feeling - Has no woodwork,
needs cleaning.
Close to Lakes - Impossible to park from
April to October.
Wide open floor plan - Previous owner
removed supporting walls.
Security System - Neighbor has a dog.
Need TLC - Major structural damage.
Updated kitchen - Sink no longer overflows.
Motivated seller - Has been on the market
for 14 years.
Convenient - Located on freeway entrance
ramp.
Mint - Someone has spilled mouthwash
on the carpet.
Neutral decor - No murals of nudes, or Elvis,
but has brown walls.
Move in condition - Front door missing.
Cozy - No room larger than 9 x 6.
Lower level family room - Ping Pong table
over sewer opening.
Light open spaces - Many holes in walls and
ceiling.
Outstanding - Painted purple, sticks out like
a sore thumb.
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