Subject: English 101
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jan 25 2000 - 03:40:27 EST
"Women's English"
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry...
We need = I want.
It's your decision = The correct
decision should be obvious by now.
Do what ever you want = You'll pay for
this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset,
you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave,
and you sweat a lot.
Be romantic, turn out the lights =
I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I
want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting,
and furniture, and wallpaper.
I heard a noise = I noticed you were
almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask
for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did
something today you're going to hate.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your
shoes and find a good game on TV.
You have to learn to communicate
= Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late,
you're dead,]
*********************************************
"Men's English"
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? =
I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a
massage = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = What stupid self
inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight
is out of the question?
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now
can we have sex?
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair
= I liked it better before.
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing
you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it
illegal for you to have sex with others.
I don't think that blouse and that skirt
go well together = I'm gay.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:06 EST