Subject: You Over-did Thanksgiving If.......
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Jan 14 2000 - 06:36:00 EST
"You Over-did At Thanksgiving If......."
* You spill more food on you than the local
soup kitchen dispenses.
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to
pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
* Your after dinner moans are loud enough
to signal Dr. Kevorkian.
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was
a real 14' boat!
* The potatoes you used set off another
famine in Ireland.
* You get grass stains on your butt after a
walk, but never sat down.
* Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go
around your waist.
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application
in your e-mail.
* You set off 3 earthquake seismographs
on your morning jog Friday.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening
only yielded gravy.
* You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch
all the football games.
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from
"The Feeding of the 5000."
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be
steering wheel burn.
* Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your
water bed.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of
Fame called twice.
* You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.
* It looks like the left-overs are going last
until Christmas.
* Your arms are too heavy to reach the
keyboard & delete this message.
********************************************************
"Thanksgiving Turkey"
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his
arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I
have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my
family. Would you take it and assuage my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance,
you must return it to the one from whom you
stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh,
Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for
you to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest
returned to his residence. When he walked
into the kitchen, he found that someone had
stolen his Thanksgiving turkey.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:05 EST