Subject: An Assortment Dedicated to Thanksgiving...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Jan 14 2000 - 06:31:23 EST
"An Assortment Dedicated to Thanksgiving..."
Gobbler said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop
acting like a turkey!" "I see," said the doctor.
"How long have you had this problem?"
"Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..."
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her
disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn
over in his gravy!
Q: Who is turkey's favorite human?
A: A Vegetarian.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm
thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote,
"I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
Q: What key has legs and can't open doors?
A: A Turkey.
Q. What sound does a space turkey make?
A. hubble, hubble, hubble.
Q: Why do turkeys always go, "Gobble, gobble?"
A: Because they never learned good table manners!
Keep your eye off the turkey dressing. It makes
him blush!!!!
********************************************************
"The Blessings"
All the grandkids were visiting for Thanksgiving.
Before dinner, Grandma made a lengthy speech
about being thankful for her extra-special blessings,
her four grandchildren. Two seconds after she
stopped speaking, all hell broke loose and the kids
were yelling and grabbing for the home-made rolls.
Grandma sat there, eyes closed with a tight squint
on her face. When asked what was the matter,
she replied, "I'm just praying for a little patience
to handle all these blessings."
**********************************************************
"Dinner Guests" A LadyHawke's Favorite
Mrs. Chauncey Ashley III telephoned the headquarters
of the infantry near Great Oaks, her ancestral home.
"This is Mrs. Chauncey Ashley the Third, and with
Thanksgiving coming up, I thought it would be nice
for us to invite some of the young soldiers to our
holiday feast. We have enough space that we can
easily seat ten young men."
"That's very kind of you, Mrs. Ashley."
"There's only one thing -- I'm sure you understand:
my husband and I prefer not to have any Jews..."
"Madam, I quite understand."
When her front doorbell rang on Thanksgiving Day,
Mrs. Ashley, dressed to the nines, hurried to the
door herself. She flung it open. "Welcome to Great --"
She stopped, aghast.
Under the great portico stood ten smiling black
soldiers. "Omigosh," gasped Mrs. Ashley. "There
has been a terrible mistake!"
The black sergeant said, "Oh no, ma'am. Captain
Finkelstein NEVER makes a mistake."
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