Subject: New Drugs
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 21 2000 - 04:39:41 EST
"New Drugs"
With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial
male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical
company is working to redress the balance...
MIRRORCILLIN - A 5cc dose enables a woman
to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without
pausing once.
STOPPANAGGIN - Gives women a vague feeling
of contentment towards their spouse/boyfriend.
COSMOPOLIRA - Doubles female intelligence
to almost simian levels, allowing 'facts' in trash
lifestyle magazines to be disputed.
LOGICON - Trials showed that females taking this
were able to follow a proposition through to its
logical conclusion, and argue effectively without
being diverted into non relevant postulates such
as 'you don't love me anymore.'
PARKATRON - 72% of women taking this were
able to safely reverse park a Ford Fiesta into a
space only 12 meters long; 54% achieved this in
under 15 minutes.
MAGNATACK - Uniquely distorts the cornea,
making certain shapes appear much larger than
in reality - no practical use for this drug has yet
been found. {Yeah, right! - LadyHawke}
WARDROBIA - Clinical trials show that almost
23% of women taking this drug can safely walk
past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed
within their credit limit.
BEERINTULIN - Engenders a female desire to
bring her spouse/boyfriend alcoholic beverages
and snacks during televised sports.
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