Subject: A New Year's Prayer For All
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 01 2000 - 08:16:37 EST
A Rosh Hashanah Prayer, courtesy of Rabbi
Jacob Pressman, University of Pennsylvania,
Class of 1940:
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist,
your cardiologist, your gastroenterologist, your
urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your
psychiatrist, your plumber and the IRS. May your
hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your
stocks not fall.
May your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your
cholesterol, your white blood count and your
mortgage interest not rise.
May you find a way to travel from anywhere to
anywhere in the rush hour in less than an hour,
and when you get there may you find a parking
space.
May Friday evening, December 31, find you seated
around the Shabbat table, together with your beloved
family and cherished friends, ushering in the Sabbath
day. You will find the food better, the environment
quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure
much more fulfilling than anything else you might
ordinarily do that night.
May you wake up on January 1st, finding that the
world has not come to an end, the lights work, the
water faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.
May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January
3rd and find your account is in order, your money is
still there and any mistakes are in your favor.
May you ponder on January 4th how did this ultra-
modern civilization of ours managed to get itself
traumatized by a possible slip of a blip on a chip
made out of sand.
May we relax about the Third Millennium of the
Common Era, and realize that we still have 240
years until the dawn of the Sixth Millennium of the
Jewish Calendar by which time the computer is
long since obsolete and so are we.
In the coming year of presidential campaigning,
may some of the promises made be kept and
may you believe at least half of what the
candidates propose, and may those elected
fulfill at least half of what they promise.
May you relish, with a sense of humor, the
possibility that a professional wrestler could
become president of the United States, just
as a professional actor once did.
May what you see in the mirror delight you,
and what others see in you delight them.
May someone love you enough to forgive your
faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the
world about your virtues.
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales
calls until you finish dinner, and may your
checkbook and your budget balance, and may
they include generous amounts for charity.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least
once a day to your spouse, your child and your
parent; but not to your secretary, your nurse,
personal trainer or intern.
And finally, may you fill your world with love even
more than you have in the past.
Amen.
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