Subject: Letter From Santa
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Dec 26 2000 - 19:02:54 EST
"Memory Crisis"
A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found
buying presents for family and friends a bit
much one Christmas, so she wrote out
checks for all of them to put in her Christmas
cards. She wrote "Buy your own present"
after her name on the cards, then sent them off.
After the Christmas festivities were over, she
found the checks in her desk!
Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from
her with "Buy your own present" written inside,
but without the checks. Ooops, eh?
************************************
"Letter From Santa"
2 Cold Street,
North Pole,
H0H 0H0
Dear ________
I have been watching you very closely to see
if you have been good this year, and since you
have, I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at
Christmas. I was going to bring you all the
gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas,"
but we had a little problem up here. The
twelve fiddlers fiddling, have all come down
with V.D from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing.
The eleven lords a leaping have knocked up
the eight maids a milking, and the nine pipers
playing, have been arrested for doing weird
things to the seven swans a swimming.
The six geese a laying, four calling birds, three
french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge
in a pear tree, have me up to my ears in bird
droppings.
On top of all this, Mrs. Clause is going through
menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat,
the elves have joined Gay Liberation, and those
dumb-butt Kawabangaans have scheduled
Christmas for the 5th of February.
Sincerely,
Santa
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