Subject: Ways To Annoy St. Nick
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Dec 23 2000 - 02:41:31 EST
"15 Ways To Annoy Dear Ole St. Nick"
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad,
and a note explaining that you think he could
stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and
write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone
away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind
watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer
with exact replicas. Then wait and see what
happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa
to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't
big enough for the both of us."
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the
roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas,"
and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa
that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him
to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his
way home.
8. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit
in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you,
tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last
payment, and take off.
9. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of
milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy."
10. Take everything out of your house as if it's
just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up
dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well.
They always return to the scene of the crime."
11. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with
last-minute changes and corrections.
12. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've
moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-
read directions to your new house.
13. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
14. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes.
While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When
he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled."
Threaten to sue.
15. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with
Easter eggs.
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