Subject: Santa Can't Be A Woman
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Dec 15 2000 - 15:35:35 EST
"Santa Can't Be A Woman"
Some of you may have seen the one passed
around about why Santa is a woman. Well,
here is why Santa is not a woman. Santa
cannot be a woman because:
No woman would be caught dead in the same
outfit two years in row.
No woman would be willing to give something
away in order to make another woman happy.
Women cannot drive cars let alone a sleigh
powered by reindeer.
Santa has to supervise all of those elves year
round and everyone knows that women may
be bossy, but are not always good supervisors.
Santa carries a bag full of toys not a purse full
of toiletries.
Santa manages to fit all of his items in his one
bag. Women cannot pack one bag to save their
lives.
Santa is fat and goes out of the house fat. Women
don't want to go out of the house fat even if it is
just once a year.
Santa delivers toys at night. Women usually
develop a headache at night that prohibits them
from doing anything.
The words "Ho, Ho, Ho" would have to become
something different because women would
subliminally feel someone was calling them names.
Santa Claus is not hyphenated. All modern women
hyphenate their names.
Santa Claus wears no jewelry when he goes out.
All women wear jewelry when the go out for the
holidays.
The final reason Santa Clause is a man is because
only a Real Man could leave his family on Christmas
eve, stay out all night, and come back in, the next
morning claiming to be out working all night.
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