Subject: General Nuisance
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Aug 22 2000 - 13:21:29 EDT
"Sorry My Homework Isn't Done...."
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked,
"What's the problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework
again."
"Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and
made my homework paper into a paper airplane."
"Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing
to do," said the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just
unfold the paper and hand it in."
"Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even
sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked."
*****************************************
"General Nuisance"
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace
is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that
moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter
what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to
try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream
furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man
in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly
walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered
mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly,
soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward
his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's
hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other
passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat,
one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse
me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you
what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I
showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle
ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one
passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
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