Subject: How to Ask A Man
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Aug 17 2000 - 22:14:16 EDT
"The Right And Wrong Way to Ask A Man"
How you ask a man to do something makes
all the difference. Women think that a subtle
nuance or slight turn of phrase will have no
effect whatsoever on the resolve of their
mucho-macho muscular moron. It does!
Which is why you should always use "would
you" and "will you" instead of "could you" and
"can you." For example:
Do say: would you please take out the
garbage?
Do not say: could you get off your big butt
and do something around here? What am I,
the maid?
Do say: would you like to go out to a nice
dinner Saturday night?
Do not say: could you please take me to
any restaurant that doesn't have the words
"burger", "king", or "happy meal" in their
advertising??
Do say: would you mind watching the kids
while I take a night off with my girlfriends?
Do not say: could you, just for one night,
watch the kids you helped spawn - that I
never get a break from-ever! I haven't seen
my friends in so long we wear name tags
to identify ourselves.
Do say: would you take me to a movie this
week?
Do not say: could you prove to me you're
not Velcroed to the couch and actually have
the motor skills to take me to a motion picture?
Something without Pamela Anderson in it.
Do say: would you like me to listen to you talk
about your day some more?
Do not say: could you step up the filibuster,
Sparky? Jeopardy is on in ten minutes.
Do say: would you consider getting a vasectomy?
Do not say: could you even imagine what it
feels like taking birth control pills that make you
feel like Attila the Hun one minute and Attila the
Hun's evil twin the next minute? Do it or I'll do it
FOR you!!
Do say: would you like to take a vacation?
Do not say: could you move out?
Do say: would you get out of my life?
Do not say: could you get out of my life?
Notice how different these two statements
are. A man is much more likely to get out of
your life if you say "would."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Sep 01 2000 - 00:00:04 EDT