The Female Stages Of Life


Subject: The Female Stages Of Life
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Apr 24 2000 - 02:28:24 EDT


"The Female Stages Of Life"

AGE DRINK

17 Wine Coolers

25 White wine

35 Red wine

48 Dom Perignon

66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

17 Need to wash my hair

25 Need to wash and condition my hair

35 Need to color my hair

48 Need to have Francois color my hair

66 Need to have Francois color my wig

FAVORITE SPORT

17 shopping

25 shopping

35 shopping

48 shopping

66 shopping

DRUG

17 shopping

25 shopping

35 shopping

48 shopping

66 shopping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 "Burger King"

25 "Free meal"

35 "A diamond"

48 "A bigger diamond"

66 "Home Alone"

FAVORITE FANTASY

17 tall, dark and handsome

25 tall, dark and handsome with money

35 tall, dark and handsome with money and
  a brain

48 a man with hair (preferably not on back)

66 a man

HOUSE PET

17 Muffy the cat

25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat

35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat

48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy
the Cat

66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy,
stuffs Muffy the Cat

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 17

25 25

35 35

48 48

66 66

IDEAL DATE

17 He offers to pay

25 He pays

35 He cooks breakfast the next morning

48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for
the kids

66 He can chew breakfast



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