Subject: If You Love Something...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Apr 15 2000 - 04:15:22 EDT
"If You Love Something..."
THE ORIGINAL VERSION:
If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never were....
THE LAWYER'S VERSION:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that...
THE BILL GATES VERSION:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION::
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.
THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:
If you love somebody
don't ever set her free.
THE NRA VERSION:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she is yours,
If she doesn't, get your rifle and hunt her down
like a wild animal and shoot her dead, dead, dead.
THE HR SPECIALIST VERSION:
If you love somebody
set her free
By offering her VRS and other benefits
Then outsource her.
THE MBA VERSION:
If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously.
THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans.
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
THE MARKETING VERSION:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.
THE REVENGE VERSION
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, it was meant to be
If she doesn't, hunt her down & kill her!
(Not literally, I hope! - LadyHawke)
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Mon May 01 2000 - 00:00:03 EDT