Subject: In The Garden Of Eden
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Apr 13 2000 - 07:27:06 EDT
"And Lord Created..."
A group of leading scientists had done huge
amounts of research in chemical analysis, and
bio-chemistry. After many years of toil, they
confronted the Lord about his "Creation" process.
"We have studied and analyzed and learned, and
have found that we can create life, the same as
You did." said the scientists to Lord.
"You can?" asked the Lord.
"Yes. We can create living forms, the same way
You did. And faster too. And we'll prove it." The Lord
replied, "Ok, prove it." So one of the scientists reached
down and grabbed up a handful of dirt to put into a dish.
"Uh uh uhhh" said the Lord.
"What?" asked the scientists.
"Get your OWN dirt!"
********************************************************
"In The Garden Of Eden"
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out
to G-d, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful
animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm
just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall
create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad
traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all,
he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster,
and will like to hunt and kill things. He will provide
you with companionship and satisfy your desires.
Yet, he'll be witless and will revel in childish things
like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be
too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think
properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised
eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-
admiring. . So you'll have to let him believe that
I made him first. . So, just remember: it's our
secret. Woman to Woman."
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