Subject: General Motors Laugh Lines
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Apr 08 2000 - 02:40:37 EDT
"General Motors HelpLine"
General Motors doesn't have a help line for
people who don't know how to drive, because
people don't buy cars like they buy computers,
but imagine if they did....
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can
I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door
and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot
and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current
from your battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine?
How come I have to know all these technical
terms just to use my car?"
HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can
I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now
it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front
panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'.
Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that
mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline
vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You
can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install
it for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car!
Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more
components? I want a car that comes with
everything built in!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Mon May 01 2000 - 00:00:03 EDT