Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 22 Sep 1999 07:01:26 -0400
"English Well Speeched Here"
The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
"Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar."
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
"If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you
are welcome to it."
An airline ticket office in Copenhagen
reminds you: "We take your bags and
send them in all directions."
In a certain African hotel you may choose
between: "A room with a view on the sea
or the backside of the country."
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
"Come inside and have a fit."
A hotel notice in Madrid informs: "If you
wish disinfection enacted in your presence,
please cry out for the chambermaid."
This notice was posted on a Rumanian
hotel elevator: "The lift is being fixed for
the next days. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable."
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
"If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone
and ask for room service. This will be
enough for you to bring your food up."
This sign was posted in a Scottish harbor:
"For sale boat single owner green in colour."
A sign at Budapest's zoo requests:
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have
any suitable food give it to the guard on duty."
A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors
in a flyer: "As for the trout served you at the
hotel monopol, you will be singing its praise
to your grandchildren as you lie on your
deathbed."
A Seville tailor makes clear how he will
handle commissions: "Order now your
summer suit. Because is big rush we will
execute customers in strict rotation"
A dentist's doorway in Istanbul proclaims:
"American dentist, 2th floor. Teeth
extracted by latest methodists."
The concierge in a Sorrento hotel lets
guests know he's on the job: "Contact
the concierge immediately for informations.
Please don't wait last minutes then it will
be too late to arrange any inconveniences."
Some German hospitals now display the
sign: "No children allowed in the maternity
wards."
The sign at the concierge's desk in an
Athens hotel reads: "If you consider our
help impolite, you should see the manager."
A sign in a Kowloon hotel warns: "Is
forbidden to steal hotel towels. Please if
you are not person to do such is please
not to read notice."
Visitors in Czechoslovakia are invited by
the tourist agency to: "Take one of our
horse-driven city tours - we guarantee
no miscarriages."
A Rome laundry suggests: "Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time."
A London eatery advertised for help this
way: "Wanted : man to wash dishes and
two waitresses." {Geez, I think they'd
speak English in London! - LadyHawke}
A notice in a Vienna hotel urges: "In case
of fire do your utmost to alarm the hall
porter."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Wed Sep 22 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT