Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 22 Sep 1999 06:24:28 -0400
"You Are In My Will..."
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude
and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I
would not want to insult you by offering payment.
But I would like for you to know that I had
mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor
emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that
prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make
a little change..."
**********************************************************
"Give It To Me Straight, Doc!"
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the house
that he used to do. When the examination
was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can
take it. Tell me in plain English what is
wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied,
"you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife."
**********************************************************
"Stress Relief"
My wife came from the doctors's office with
this true story yesterday.
After examining the 50ish lady the doctor
made a few notes on his chart and look down
at her and said, "You still have all the symptoms
of stress. Your blood pressure is up, you've
gained more weight, and you look depressed.
So you know what you are going to have to do,
right?"
She replies forlornly, "Yes doctor, I know."
He says again, "You know it's for the best,
and you'll start to feel better almost right away."
Again with a sad face, "Yes doctor, I understand."
"Just to be sure," he says, "What are you going
to do when you get home?"
With a big sigh, she says, " I guess I'll just have
to have the affair..."
Thankfully, the doctor was making sure my wife
knew his advice for her was diet and exercise!
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