Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 26 Oct 1999 12:00:52 -0400
"Procrastinator's Creed"
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing,
it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid
more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime
of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in
proportion to the amount of bodily injury I
could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the
possibility for new technologies, astounding
discoveries, and a reprieve from my
obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are
unreasonable regardless of the amount of
time given.
7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always
next year.
8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless
of course I decide to change my mind.
9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the
first step, and/or write the first word, when
I get around to it.
10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can
forget about forever.
*************************************************************
"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When......"
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when
she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just
dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the
other salesman and say, "I waited on the last
fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your
boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and
look at some confidential information on his
computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard.
It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find
that you had scheduled *this* week as
vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the
boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on
Rock Creek yesterday?".
You wake up hung over. You have a black
eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear
is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the
company Christmas party.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Wed Oct 27 1999 - 09:00:03 EDT