Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 03 Oct 1999 03:19:10 -0400
"Rules for Writerers" (A LadyHawke's Favorite)
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end
sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're
old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however
relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive
redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary
and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are
not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use
more words than necessary; it's
highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations,
etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers
on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not
necessary. Parenthetical words
however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when
substituting a diminutive one would
suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless
of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the
absolute best way to put forth earth-
shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper
place and omit it when its not
needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph
Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've
heard it a thousand times: Resist
hyperbole; not one writer in a million
can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan
readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon
to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings,
it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times
worse than understatement.
34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such
integrated transitional scenarios
complicate simplistic matters.
And finally...
35. Proofread carefully to see if you
any words out.
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