Subject: The Spinster's Will
From: Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Date: Tue Nov 16 1999 - 19:25:43 EST
"The Spinster's Will"
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office
and told the receptionist she wanted to see
the lawyer about having a will prepared. The
receptionist suggested they set up an
appointment for a convenient time for the
spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand,
I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone,
and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible
for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney
who agreed and he went to the spinster's
home for the meeting to discuss her estate
and the will. The lawyer's first question was,
"Would you please tell me what you have in
assets and how you'd like them to be distributed
under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and
accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in
my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you
like the $40,000 to be distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've
lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever
noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I
pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you
will be able to have a funeral that will certainly
be noticed and will leave a lasting impression
on anyone who may not have taken much note
of you! But tell me," he continued, "what would
you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never
married, I've lived alone almost my entire life,
and, in fact, I've never slept with a man. Before
I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange
for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer
said, adding, "but I'll see what I can do to
arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling
his wife about the eccentric spinster and her
weird request. After thinking about how much
she could do around the house with $5,000,
and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband
to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning,
and wait in the car until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's
house and waited while he went into the house.
She waited for over an hour, but her husband
didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened,
the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick
me up tomorrow! She's going to let the County
bury her!"
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