Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 30 May 1999 10:42:05 -0400
"Microsoft - Boot Camp"
It was decided by Microsoft during a brilliant
brainstorming session that military service
would improve the skills and discipline of their
finest technician. So off to boot camp he went.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction,
a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the
target. The report came from the target area
that all attempts had completely missed the
target.
The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then
at the target again.
"Hmmm.," he thought, "I'll get to the bottom of
this in no time."
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the
target again. He pointed his still loaded rifle at
the ground in front of him and fired. A cloud of
dust kicked up, and a little dimple was left
there in the dust.
"Yep, it's working," he concluded.
The technician yelled out to the others at the
target end, "The rifle is in working order, and
the bullet seems to be leaving this end just fine.
The trouble must be at your end!"
***********************************************************
"Computer Errors Haiku"
In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced
the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
{Below haiku stolen from bestofbesthumor@topica.com}
{Hehehe, Chris!)
When it comes to humor by email,
This list reigns supreme.
Yah, baby.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon May 31 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT