Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 12 May 1999 22:21:52 -0400
LadyHawke's Reflection du Jour, Hawke-mobile, part II
{Continued from yesterday}
{Copyright 1999, Irene A Mystery}
With $2,000 in yearly repairs over last 4 years, the
Hawke-mobile was quickly becoming a clunker. Yet
I was still reluctant to give it up. Why to do people
hold on to clunker cars? Perhaps, because we love
them so much? Old cars are like old leather gloves -
they are too comfortable to throw away even if they
look way pass their prime.
Althought my fear of *box* cars has diminished over the
years, it still didn't dissipate completely. I did not want
a small car yet I couldn't afford a big one. However,
between insurance and the upkeep, I was paying more
per year than my car was worth! It was time to let go.
It is strange how we get attached to inanimate objects.
After I made my decision, every time I drove, I gave the
dashboard an appreciative pat, knowing that soon, too
soon, I will drive this car no longer.
Upon approaching the used car dealer's lot, I saw a
gorgeous Buick LeSabre winking at me. I had to get
acquainted! I stared at the car. She purred her engine.
It was love at first sight. But was this car meant for me?
Then I saw a small pebble underneath the driver's side
of the car. It was The Sign! In a Jewish tradition, one
doesn't bring flowers to the cemeteries to put on graves
of the loved ones. Instead, we place small pebbles on
the headstones. {Please don't ask me for the significance
or the source of this tradition for I do not know.} I picked
up the smooth pebble and, teary-eyed, realized that it was
a pebble to put on top of my old car: I have found a
replacement. Hawke-mobile is dead. Long live the new
Hawke-mobile!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What Your Car Says About You, Part I"
1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own
the Buick of sports cars.
2. Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars.
3. Acura NSX: I am impotent.
4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires.
5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the
50 states.
6. Cadillac Eldorado : I am a very good Mary
Kay salesman.
7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp.
8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people.
9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's
reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
10. Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a midlife crisis.
11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia
to overthrow the government.
12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian
leather.
13. Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in
my wheel well.
14. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special
education and I voted for Eisenhower.
15. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four
years to get this car.
16. Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart).
17. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school
zones.
18. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people
slow to 55 mph & change lanes when I pull up
behind them.
19. Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the
Fall.
20. Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in
the Fall.
21. Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a
convertible is better than no convertible at all.
22. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and
have no credit.
23. Honda Accord: I lack any originality and
am basically a lemon.
24. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17
malpractice suits pending.
25. Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about
J.D. Power or his reports.
26. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K
for a car that is in the shop 280 days per
year.
27. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the
failure of Diahatsu Corp.
28. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and
covered dish suppers
29. Mercury Grand Marquis: (See Lincoln
Town Car).
30. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if
you ask me for an autograph.
31. Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter
named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
32. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being
decapitated by an 18 wheeler.
33. MGB: I am dating a mechanic.
34. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what
it means either.
35. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete
my divorce proceedings.
36. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this
car and I'm going to make a....
37. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's
Ten Most Wanted List.
38. Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing
the Macarena.
39. Pontiac Trans AM: I have a switchblade
in my sock.
40. Porsche 944: I am dating big haired
women that otherwise would be inaccessible
to me.
41. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat
Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal.
42. Saturn SC2: (See Honda Civic).
43. Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted
a Japanese car even more.
44. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet.
45. Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge
Family reruns.
46. Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the
closet.
47. Volkswagon Microbus: I am tripping right
now.
48. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my
wife.
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