Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 01 May 1999 08:17:11 -0400
"Strong Dude"
Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.
The first one says, "You know, when I was 30 and
got an erection, I couldn't bend it with both hands.
By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10
degrees if I tried really hard."
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20
degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and
now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much
stronger I'm gonna get!"
************************************************************
"How To Stay Young Forever"
A woman is having her 90th birthday.
Huge celebration in the village. Everybody is there -
the mayor, the police and a reporter from the local
newspaper. He wants to know how she achieved
to have such a long life.
She tells him about her fulfilled life - and about the
3 beers and 2 cigars she has each day. "Not to forget
a healthy and active sex life keeps my circulation
going!" she adds with a chuckle.
The reporter curious now, asks deferentially, "So
when was the last time you made love, Ma'am?"
"Well, let me think - made love - the last time I did
that was around 1945."
"Whoah," the reporter says, "but that's a hell of a long
time ago. "
"You think so?" the woman replies nonchalantly and
checks her watch. "But it's only 20:15 now..."
***********************************************************
"Old Rapist?"
Two old men meet on a street corner.
1st old man, "Where you've you been for the last
couple of months?"
2nd old man, "I was in jail."
1st old man, "You in jail, how come?"
2nd old man, "Well, about two months ago I was
standing on a corner, and this beautiful young woman
rushes up with a policeman, points to me and says,
"He is the man officer, he is the one who attacked
and raped me.
1st old man, "What? And you let her got away with it?"
2nd old man, "Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I
admitted it."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat May 01 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT