Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 17 Mar 1999 23:50:28 -0500
On St. Patrick's Day, *everybody* is Irish. Happy Celebrating!
Just don't drink and drive, will you? :)
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"St. Patricks Day Joke"
An English Clergyman turned to a Scotchman and
asked : "What would you be if you were not Scot?"
The Scotchman said: "Why, an Englishman, of
course!"
Then the clergyman turned to a gentleman from
Ireland and asked him: "
And what would you be were you not an Irishman?"
The man thought a moment and said: "I'd be
ashamed of meself!"
***********************************************************
"Pat The Irishman"
There once was an Irishman named Pat, who was
born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day,
marching in the St. Patrick's Day parade.
Pat went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter said, "who are you?" and Pat
replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on
St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marchin'
in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter checked up in his book and saw all this
information was true. So he said to Pat: "Yes, this is
all true, so here is a little green cloud for you to drive
around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you
push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are
Smiling.' You've earned it, Pat. Have a good time in
heaven."
Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the
button, and it starts to play "When Irish Eyes Are
Smiling." He heads out into heaven, a smile on his
face and a song in his heart.
He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his
little green cloud around for two whole days. However,
on the third day, he's driving down the main expressway
in heaven with the harp playing full blast when, all of a
sudden, a pink and white two-tone cloud roars past him.
And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing
all sorts of celestial music. Pat has just enough time to
see that the person driving the pink and white two-tone
cloud has a long nose and a darkish complexion.
Pat makes a U-Turn right in the middle of the Heaven
Expressway, charges back to the Pearly Gates, jumps
off of his little green cloud and stalks up to St. Peter.
He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm an Irishman.
I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's
Day, marchin' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come
up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little
green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song,
'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.'
"St. Peter, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big,
beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and an huge
organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat
the Irishman, want to know why!"
St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and
motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he
says: "Pat, shush! *He's* the Boss's Son!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Mar 18 1999 - 09:00:01 EST