Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 15 Mar 1999 08:38:10 -0500
"Religious Holidays"
An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their
special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and
Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom
Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religions has
its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized
national holidays. It's an unfair discrimination."
His friend replied, "Well... Why don't you celebrate April first?"
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"Atheist & Loch Ness Monster"
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly
his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one
easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air
then opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed
head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my G-d! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place and, as
the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down
from the clouds.
"I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on G-d, give me a break!," the man pleaded. "Two
minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
Then the Atheist continues, "G-d, please let the Loch Ness
Monster become religious."
G-d replies, "So be it."
The scene starts up, atheist falling.
The Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says,
"Lord, bless this food you have so graciously provided...."
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