Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 14 Mar 1999 13:11:01 -0500
"Choir Troubles I"
A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing.
Several people hinted to him that he could serve in
other places, but he continued to come to the choir.
The choir director became desperate and went to
the pastor.
"You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said.
"If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members
are going to quit too. Please do something."
So the pastor went to the man and suggested,
"Perhaps you should leave the choir."
"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.
"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."
That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people
have told me that you can't preach!"
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"Choir Troubles II"
The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy
with the sweetest face for the opening scene of the
play. "Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the
choir to sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you
come on stage and light all the candles."
"I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to
be the one picked.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night
arrived. The choir was in grand voice, the stage was
beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all
around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest
angel made his entrance.
The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began
to play, and the choir swept into the introductory lines,
ending with an expectant "...and the angel lit the candle,"
and everyone looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy.
The director gave the downbeat again, and gestured
for a louder line, which the choir gave him - "...and the
angel lit the candle," and again, all eyes looked stage
right.
No little boy.
The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great,
sweeping gestures, and the choir thundered into the
line - the curtains belled slightly from the sound -
"...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!"
And into the silence which followed came a clear,
boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right,
"...and the cat peed on the matches!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon Mar 15 1999 - 09:00:02 EST