Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Fri, 18 Jun 1999 16:08:01 -0400
"Playing Father"
Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school.
He invades the fridge and is scooping out some
cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters
the kitchen.
She says, "Put that away, Johnny. You can't have
ice cream now. It's too close to supper time. Go
outside and play."
Johnny whimpers and says, "There's no one to
play with."
Trying to placate him, she says, "OK. I'll play
with you. What do you want to play?"
He says, "I wanna play Mommie and Daddy."
Trying not to register surprise, and to further
appease him, she says, "Fine, I'll play. What
do I do?"
Johnny says, "You go up to the bedroom and lie
down."
Figuring that she can easily control the situation,
Mom goes upstairs. Johnny, feeling a bit cocky,
swaggers down the hall and opens the utility
closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As
he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt
in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and
slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of
the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother raises her head and says,
"What do I do now?"
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, "Get your butt
downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!"
************************************************************
"My Dad's Car"
Copyright@1999 Rhoda Dean {RDean053@aol.com}
Reprinted with expressed permission.
I loved the jokes the other day, and it brought back
memories of when I was small. I wanted to
surprize my dad by painting his car with paint he
gave me for my bike on Father's Day. I ran in the
house and told my dad that I had a gift for him.
He saw the car I painted, did not say a word and
went back into the house.
I went in and asked my mother where dad was.
She said he was on the phone to find a store
open that sells paint remover as he loved my
gift but only on the outside.
I had painted the whole car, inside and out, bright pink....
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat Jun 19 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT