Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 16 Jun 1999 09:40:45 -0400
"An Ultimate Guilt Trip"
A man called his mother in Florida. He said to
his mother, "How are you doing?"
She said, "Not to good. I've been very weak."
The son then asked, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son then asked, "How come you haven't
eaten in 38 days.?"
She said, "Because I didn't want my mouth
to be filled with food when you called."
**********************************************************
"And How Are Your Children?"
Two Jewish mothers met for coffee.
"Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"
"To tell you the truth, my Abie has married a
slut! She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's
out all day spending his money on Heaven
knows what, and when he gets home,
exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner
for him? Psha! She makes him take her out
to dinner at an expensive restaurant."
"And Esther?"
"Ah! Esther has married a saint. He brings
her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough
money to buy all she needs, and in the
evening he takes her out to dinner at a nice
smart restaurant."
***********************************************************
"Three Jewish Mothers"
Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a park
bench in Miami Beach talking about (what
else?) how much their sons love them.
Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting
hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold,
bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What
a good boy he is, and how much he loves his
mother."
Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the
Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mother's Day?
That's from my son Bernie. What a doll."
Shirley says, "That's nothing. You know my son
Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst
on Park Ave. Five session a week. And what
does he talk about? Me."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Jun 17 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT