Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 15 Jun 1999 21:50:49 -0400
"How To Obtain Golfing Permission"
Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th
hole the following conversation took place:
First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do
to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I
had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise
my wife that I will build her a new deck for the
pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had
to promise my wife that I will remodel the
kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they
realized that the fourth guy has not said a
word. So they ask him, "You haven't said
anything about what you had to do to be able
to come golfing this weekend. What's the
deal?"
Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30am.
When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give
the wife a nudge and say, 'Golf course or
intercourse?' and she says, 'Wear
your sweater.'"
************************************************************
"Ten Minutes Late"
There are three golfers, (Bob, Max, and Ted) who
are looking for a fourth.
Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty
good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the
following Saturday.
"Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may
be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."
Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive
promptly at 9:00, and find George already waiting
for them. He plays right-handed, and beats them
all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask
him if he'd like to play again the following Saturday.
"Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I may
be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."
The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show
up on time, but this time George plays left-handed,
and beats them all. As they're getting ready to
leave, George says, "See you next Saturday. But
I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me."
Every week from now on, George is right on time
and plays great with whichever hand he decides to
use. And every week, he departs with the same
message.
After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this
routine, so he says, "Wait a minute, George.
Every week you say you may be about ten minutes
late, but you're right on time. You beat us either
left-handed or right-handed. What's the story?"
"Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious.
When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If
she's sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed,
and if she's sleeping on her right side, I play
right-handed."
"So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?"
Bob asks.
"Then I'm about ten minutes late," George answers.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Wed Jun 16 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT