Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 14 Jun 1999 14:15:10 -0400
"Feudian Slip"
One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a
very worried and nervous look, and a another priest
saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second
priest thought he should try to help, so he
approached his distraught associate and asked
him what was wrong.
"Well" the first priest said, "have you ever heard of
a Freudian Slip?"
"No," said the other.
"Well" said the first, "it's when one slips and says
something one is thinking usually when it is the
least opportune time."
"Oh," said the third, "so, what happened."
"Well, today I performed a wedding and you know
the part when you say 'I now pronounce you man
and wife'? asked the first.
"Yes?" said the second.
"Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually
said was, "I now sentence you to death."
***********************************************************
"Almost Married"
These two guys meet after not having seen each other
for many many years. First guy asks the second guy,
"How have things been going?"
The second guy speaking very s..l..o..w..l..y.. tells the
first guy, "I w..a..s.. a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r.. i..e..d."
The first guy says in amazement "Hey; you don't stutter
any more."
The answer comes, " y..e..s I w..e..n..t t..o a
d..o..c..t..o..r .a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t
i..f
I s..p..e..a..k.. s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t
s..t..u..t..t..e..r."
The first friend congratulates him and than asks again
about how he "was almost married".
"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e
s..i...t..t..i..n..g.. o..n h..e..r p..o...r..c..h a..n..d
t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s
b..a..c..k a..n..d I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t
w..h..e..n w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d s..h..e
c..a..n d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e
t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y f..a..c..e.."
"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?"
asks the first friend.
" W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y,
t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e
l..o..o..k..e..d.. a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e w..a..s
l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Jun 15 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT