Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 09 Jun 1999 13:04:02 -0400
"It's So Hot In Texas That......"
{I can relate to that! Argh!}
*The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms
out of the ground.
*The potatoes cook underground, and all you
have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
*Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
***********************************************************
"It's So Dry In Texas That..."
*The cows are giving evaporated milk.
*The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
*A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would
rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it - but
for my 7-year-old."
*A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain
out here?" A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it
does. Do you remember that part in the Bible
where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's
flood." "Well," the rancher puffed up, we got
'bout two and a half inches of that."
***********************************************************
"You Know You're In Texas When..."
*You no longer associate bridges (or rivers)
with water...
*You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
*You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off...
*You can make instant sun tea...
*You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good
branding iron...
*The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit
chilly...
*You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers
to drive your car...
*You discover that you can get a sunburn through
your car window...
*You notice the best parking place is determined
by shade instead of distance...
*Hot water now comes out of both taps...
*It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation,
and not one person is out on the streets...
*You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
*You break a sweat the instant you step outside...
at 7:30 a.m. before work...
*No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in
a car or not having air conditioning...
*Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get
knocked out and end up lying on the pavement
and cook to death?..."
*You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Jun 10 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT