Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 15 Jul 1999 08:57:23 -0400
"Before I Came To College I Wish I Had Known..."
That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first
class, I'd sleep right through it.
That I could change so much and barely realize it.
That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different
ways.
That college kids throw airplanes too.
That if you wear polyester everyone will ask you
why you're so dressed up.
That every clock on campus shows a different time.
That if you were smart in high school--so what?
That I would go to a party the night before a final.
That chem labs require more time than all my
classes put together.
That you can know everything and fail a test.
That you can know nothing and ace a test.
That I could get used to almost anything I found
out about my roommate.
That most of my education would be obtained
outside of my classes.
That friendship is more than getting drunk together.
That I would be one of those people my parents
warned me about.
That free food served until 10:00 is gone by 9:50.
That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
That Psychology is really Biology, That Biology is
really Chemistry,
That Chemistry is really Physics, and Physics is
really Math.
************************************************************
"A Talking Clock"
While proudly showing off his new apartment
to friends, a college student led the way into
the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?"
one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock," the man replied.
"How does it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch!" the man said then proceeded to
give the gong an ear shattering pound with
the hammer.
Suddenly, someone screamed from the other
side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK!
It's two AM in the morning!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Jul 15 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT