Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 10 Jul 1999 11:00:57 -0400
UNIX code explained:
A fiend of mine in Sri Lanka, the same one
who designed the Hawke glyph for me some
3 years ago, had translated the UNIX code I
posted yesterday. He wrote:
"Just a small comment on what you had included
in your mailing today:
'Try this in UNIX:
echo Mhbqnrnes Stbjr | tr [a-y] [b-z]'
The result it displays is 'Microsoft Sucks!'
'tr' is the translation command, substituting letters
in the first parameter, with those in the second. In
this case, it substitutes each lower case letter in
"Mhbqnrnes Stbjr", with the following letter from the
alphabet. Result? Microsoft Sucks! (And I agree!! :)"
Thank you, Roshan! - LadyHawke
************************************************************
"Golf - Stevie Wonder vs Jack Nicklaus"
Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar.
Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: "How is
the singing career going?"
Stevie Wonder says: "Not too bad, the latest
album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I
think it is pretty good. By the way, how's the golf?"
Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning
as much as I used to but I am still making a bit
of money. I have had some problems with my
swing but I think I have got that right now."
Stevie Wonder says: "I always find that when
my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing
for a while and not think about it, then the next
time I play it seems to be all right."
Jack Nicklaus says: "You play golf!?"
Stevie Wonder says: "Yes, I have been playing
for years."
And Nicklaus says: "But I thought you were blind,
how can you play golf if you are blind?" He replies:
"I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway
and he calls to me, I listen for the sound of his voice
and play the ball towards him, then when I get to
where the ball lands the caddy moves to the green
or further down the fairway and again I play the ball
towards his voice."
"But how do you putt", says Nicklaus.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in
front of the hole and call to me with his head on the
ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Nicklaus says: "What is your handicap."
Stevie says "Well I play off scratch."
Nicklaus is incredulous and he says to Stevie,
"We must play a game sometime."
Wonder replies: "Well people don't take me
seriously so I only play for money, and I never play
for less than $100,000 a hole."
Nicklaus thinks about it and says "OK, I'm up for
that -- when would you like to play?"
"I don't care -- any night next week is ok with me."
***********************************************************
"Golf Balls" (A LadyHawke's favorite.)
I am minded of the English manor, where the
mistress had just hired a new house maid,
an Irish lass, straight out of the country.
The first day she was dusting in the Smoking
room where the Master of the house sat
reading. On the mantel, she saw and dusted
a small bowl containing a couple of small
round white balls. She, being curious and
not bashful, asked,
"What are these?"
He looked up, saw where she was pointing,
and answered, "Golf balls."
She said, "OH!", and went on dusting.
A few days later, she was dusting again in the
same room, where the master was again
reading. Again, in the same bowl were small
white balls, only now there were four. She
said, "I see you shot another Golf."
I don't know what happened then, I had to leave.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sun Jul 11 1999 - 09:00:01 EDT