Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 30 Jan 1999 13:12:42 -0500
It's tough to be a genius.... Or is it?
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A Genius" (For Morgan in LA)
I met a guy on the golf course who played
to scratch using nothing more than a large
weight on the end of broom handle for
everywhere except the green, and an old
umbrella for putting.
In the nineteenth, I told him how impressed
I was.
"I guess it's because I'm a genius" he replied
casually. "I find things so easy that I have to
make everything more difficult."
"Snooker for example," he continued, "I play
with a rubber bung stuck on the end of a
metal pole twisted like a corkscrew. I could
still beat Steve Davis with one hand tied
behind my back. I have to make it difficult, or
I get bored.
"Or rifle shooting," he went on. "I've taken the
sights off the gun, hold it one handed (left hand
even though I'm right handed) sight with my
right eye (even though the gun's in my left hand)
and stand on one leg while the rest lie prone to
hold the weapon stable. Even then, I could win
Bisley whenever I want. Nothing's any fun
unless I can make it into a challenge."
I was impressed. "Got any kids?" I inquired.
"Yes," he replied. "And before you ask...
...Standing up in a hammock."
************************************************************
"Genie & A Genius Husband"
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very
exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses.
On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very
careful when you drive the ball - don't knock out any
windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the
window of the biggest house on the course. The
husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out
for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologize
and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard
a voice say, "Come on in."
They opened the door and saw glass all over the
floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer.
A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that
broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you - I'm a genie that
was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle.
You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three
wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep
the last one for myself."
"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million
dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem - it's the least I could do. And you,
what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the
wife.
"I want a house in every country of the world," she
said. "Consider it done." the genie replied.
"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I
haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years.
My wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we
did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey.
I guess I don't care." (And neither did the wife.)
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her
for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled
over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your
husband, anyway?"
"35." she replied.
"And he still believes in genies? That's amazing..."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sun Jan 31 1999 - 09:00:03 EST