Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 14 Jan 1999 23:07:25 -0500
Michael Jordan quitting basketball? That's another era
passing. Well, he can still play golf, can't he?
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Super Golf Ball"
Michael Jordan, playing a round by himself, is about to tee
off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells,
"Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really
amazing to show you!"
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can
*never* lose it!"
"What do you mean," scoffs Michael, "you can never lose
it? What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects
where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound,
and you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your
round goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling
you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
Michael Jordan buys it at once. "Just one question," he
says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
"Oh, I found it."
************************************************************
"Michael Jordan's Legacy"
Michael Jordan used to make over $300,000 a game:
$10,000 a minute assuming he averaged about 30
minutes a game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he
was making $178,100 a day, working or not.
Assuming he slept 7 hours per night, he made $52,000
every night while visions of sugarplums danced in his head.
If he went to a movie, it cost him $9.00 (with no popcorn),
but he made $18,550 while he was there.
If he decided to have a 5 minute egg, he made $618.00
while it was boiling.
He made $7,415.00 per hour more than the minimum wage.
He made $3,710.00 while watching an episode of 'Friends.'
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (90,000), it
would take him a whole12 hours.
If someone had to hand him his salary and endorsement
money, they would have to hand him $2.00 every second.
He probably paid around $200.00 for a nice round of golf
but he was reimbursed $33,390.00 for that round.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he
made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000.00 per year.
Last year, he made twice as much as all of our past
presidents for all their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it?
BUT: JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS
INCOME FOR 270 YEARS TO HAVE A NET WORTH
EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL GATES.
Translation: Nerds Rule!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri Jan 15 1999 - 09:00:05 EST