Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 22 Feb 1999 12:40:01 -0500
I love to cook. It's doing dishes that gets to me. After all,
water is detrimental to my claws!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Diary Of A Successful New Bride/Cook"
Dear Diary,
Monday;
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new
home, it's fun to cook for Bill. Today I made an angel
food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately."
Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to
borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake
turned out fine.
Tuesday;
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said,
"Serve without dressing." So, I didn't dress. But, Bill
happened to bring a friend home for supper that night.
Did they ever look startled when I served the salad!
Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said,
"Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So, I
heated some water and took a bath before steaming
the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week.
I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today Bill asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.
It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of
lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the
garden by my Mom's. So I tossed my salad into the
bed of lettuce and stood over there one hour so the
dog would not take it. Bill came over and asked if I
felt all right. I wonder why?
Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put
all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, right
over to my Mom's house! There must have been
something wrong with the recipe, because when I
came back home again it looked the same as when
I left it.
Saturday
Bill went shopping today and brought home a chicken.
He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't
know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed
back on the farm, but I found a doll dress and some
little shoes. I though the hen looked real cute. When
Bill saw it, I wondered why he counted to 10.
Sunday:
Today Bill's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve
roast, but all we had in the icebox, was hamburger.
So I put it in the oven and set the controls for roast.
There must be a problem with the oven, because
it still came out a hamburger.
Monday:
I was going to bake bread today. The recipe said, "Mix
well and knead well. Then stand in a warm place until
double in bulk." I just won't bake bread if I have to
double in bulk!
Goodnight Dear Diary. This has been an exciting week.
I am eager for tomorrow to come, so I can try a new
recipe on Bill.
***********************************************************
"Is Dinner Ready?"
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns
from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new
lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers,
dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he
sees his new wife crying.
So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"
"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you
with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."
The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There,
there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean.
Come on up to the bedroom, and I'll show you what I'd
like for breakfast."
So, off they went to the bedroom.
That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to
find his new wife crying again in the kitchen.
"What's wrong now, Sweetie?"
"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here
to make you something for lunch, and I just can't cook."
Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you
come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch
there!"
So off they went to the bedroom again.
That evening the new husband comes home, walks in
the house and sees his new bride buck naked sliding
down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and
WHOOSH! down the banister. After the third trip up
the stairs, the puzzled husband asks,
"What are you doing, Honey?"
She replies with a smile, "Warming up your supper!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Feb 23 1999 - 09:00:08 EST