Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 27 Apr 1999 21:54:51 -0400
"Honesty"
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning
her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon, tell me," she
asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have
you slept with?"
"Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced
her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven -
then there's you - nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen....."
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"Church Collections"
Offerings had been down the past several Sundays,
and the preacher decided he had to do something to
change the trend.
The next Sunday, as the plate was being passed he
said... "Brothers and Sisters, I don't like to have to do
this, but there is a man in the congregation who is
having an affair with another parishioner's wife, and
if there is not at least five dollars in the collection, I
will reveal his name."
Later, as he counted the money he found 20 five
dollar bills, and two dollar bills with a note that read:
"Forever hold your peace; I'll have that other three
dollars before sundown."
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