Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 10 Apr 1999 22:45:49 -0400
Jewish holidays summary:
They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat.
The Passover is finally over. I can eat bread again...
But who wants just plain bread, anyway? I baked
a noodle pudding instead. Yum....
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"The Top 15 Signs Your Co-Worker's
Jewish Holiday Wasn't Strictly Observed"
15> Telltale mouse ears on his new "yarmulke."
14> Sun worshipping appears to be the only thing
accomplished that was even remotely religious.
13> Thinks that the Torah is something you wear
to a frat party.
12> Comes back wearing a "Club Med: The Sea
may be Dead, but not the night-life!" T-shirt.
11> You happen to know there are no High Holy
Day services at Santa Anita Racetrack.
10> Kareem in Accounting keeps calling it "Yom Shakur."
9> As far as you know, circumcisions don't "grow back."
8> Doesn't know the difference between Hebrew and
Home-brew.
7> She's complaining that Kathie Lee isn't really on
all Carnival Cruises.
6> Claims he was observing "Chaka Khan."
5> Menorah on his desk displays three sleeves worth
of golf balls. (Menorah? wait a minute... That's for
Hanukkah... wrong holiday! - LadyHawke)
4> Thinks "Rosh Hashanah" is a song by The Knack.
3> His yarmulke has two cans of beer and a drinking
straw.
2> "And if the rabbi sees his shadow when he comes
out of the temple, there'll be four more months of
summer."
and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Worker's
Jewish Holiday Wasn't Strictly Observed...
1> Took off all of *last* month for Ramadan.
***********************************************************
"The Top 10 Rejected Flavored Matzos"
(by Jerry at Y-107 Radio Station in L.A.)
10. Spearmint Matzoh
9. Marshmallow Matzoh
8. Licorace Matzoh
7. Root Beer Matzoh
6. Liver Matzoh
5. Anchovy Matzoh
4. Bubble-Gum Matzoh
3. Chorizo Matzoh
2. Menudo Matzoh
.....and the number one top rejected Matzoh flavor:
1. Bacon Matzoh
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