A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a
summer house in the country, to which he retreated
for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the
lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's
not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this
place, which happened to be in a backwoods
section of Maine.
On one particular occasion, he invited a
Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend,
eager to get a freebee off a lawyer, agreed. Well,
they had a splendid time in the country - rising early
and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning,
the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went
out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they
went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries
and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along
came two huge bears, a male and a female.
Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately
dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky,
and the male bear reached him and swallowed him
whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into
town as fast has he could, and got the local backwoods
sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed
back to the berry patch with the lawyer.
Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male,
while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced
in his head. He just had to save his friend.
The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye,
leveled his gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE!
"What did you do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he
was in the other!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a
lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"
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"Proposition"
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night,
when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the
lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win
every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients
will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of
you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money.
All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul,
your children's souls, your children's children's souls,
the souls of your parents, grandparents, and your
parents in law, and the souls of all your friends and
law partners."
The lawyer thought about this for a moment with a
puzzled face, then asked,
"OK, so... What's the catch?"