Jake and Saul are two old retired widowers who
reside close to each other and do constant welfare
checks on each other. Much of their relationship
is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship
or personal affection.
One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Saul
opens the morning paper and turns to the Obits page.
He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own
obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for
info on him by the local newspaper several months
earlier, was in preparation for this event. He correctly
surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their
database, premature and erroneous..
It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Jake up.
"Jake, are you up yet?"
Jake sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I'm only now
starting my coffee."
"Jake. open the newspaper to page 31."
"Why, what's in the paper?"
"Jake, get the paper and open it to page 31 NOW!"
"Ok, Ok, I've got the paper here, so what's in page 31?"
"Jake, open the paper to page 31 already!"
"All right, don't be such a pain in the butt so early in
the morning already. So, what's on page 31 that's
so important?"
"Jake, look at the bottom of column 4."
"Why? What's that story on?"
"Jake, read the story on the bottom of the column
already!"
"OK, OK, I'll start reading the column if you stop
yelling in my ear!"
The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long
silent pause ensues.
Finally, Jake comes on the line quietly and fearfully,
"So Saul, where are you calling me from right now?"
******************************************************************
"An Email From...?"
A businessman from Wisconsin went on a business trip
to Louisiana. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged
his laptop into the hotel room port and sent a short
E-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at
her address, JennJohn@world.net.
Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter and
the E-mail ended up going to JeanJohn@world.net, a
Jean Johnson in Duluth, the wife of a preacher who
had just passed away and was buried that day. The
preacher's wife took one look at the E-mail and
promptly fainted.
It read, "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here!"