Your stationery has fax number, 2 e-mail addresses,
& your Internet address.
You have two or more Internet Service Providers.
You disdain people who use low baud, screen refresh
or MHz rates.
You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your
automobile tires.
You need to fill out a form with a typewriter; but you only
know computers with laser printers.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per
gallon.
You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR
are stupid.
You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually
know where they are.
You think of gadgets as "friends," but forget to send real
friends birthday cards.
You have a good copier and a fax, but your toaster turns
bread into charcoal.
You use all the Internet terms in conversations without
even thinking about it.
You sign cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
And worse: you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols
that are far more clever!
The fact that the term "CD" could also refer to finance/music
rarely occurs to you.
In a computer store, you answer the customers' questions;
the salesperson listens.
You know hundreds of e-mail address and URLs, but not
your social security number.
You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with the term
"voice number."
You read computer manuals faster than everyone else reads
fiction novels.
At computer trade shows you map out your path of the exhibit
hall in advance.
And finally...
You actually understood all the jokes in this message.
*******************************************************************
"Ancient Tech Support"
The tech support problem dates back to long before the
industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out
a rhythm on drums to communicate:
This fire help. Me Groog
Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
You have flint and stone?
Ugh
You hit them together?
Ugh
What happen?
Fire not work
(sigh) Make spark?
No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.
*sigh* You change rock?
I change nothing
You sure?
Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream
so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't
keep Lorto from make fire.
*Grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave*
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*