Andy wanted a job as a signalman on the railways.
The inspector asked him this question:
"What would you do if you saw 2 trains heading for each
other on the SAME track?
Andy said," I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?", asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down to the signal box", said Andy. "and use
the manual lever there."
"What if lightning struck it?' asked the inspector.
"Then..." Andy continued, "I'd run back into signal box &
phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well.....in that case," perservered Andy, " I'd rush down out
of the box & use the PUBLIC emergency phone at the level
of the crossing up there..."
"What would you do if THAT was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run into the village & get my Uncle Brown."
This puzzled the Inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that???"
"Because he's never seen a train wreck !! "
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"Bad Train Accident" (It's a groaner...)
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some
bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Well... The bad news first...
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to
amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very
good offer on your slippers.
(Told you it was a groaner....)