LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Eleven Reasons E-mail Is Like A Penis"
1. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.
2. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow
inferior.
3. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not
worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
4. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon
psychologists call e-mail Envy.
5. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real
work done.
6. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the
only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly
for fun.
7. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses. (Only
if you run an attached EXECUTABLE program - LadyHawke)
8. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more
difficult to think coherently.
9. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual
size and influence warrant.
10. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot
of trouble.
11. If you play with it too much, you may go blind....
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>* Quickie du Jour *<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
Microsoft abruptly ended that trial in Chicago by paying $5
million to buy out the ISP owner who had the patent name
rights to 'Internet Explorer.' An adverse jury verdict would
have forced them to remove the words from all systems,
packaging and advertising. {Smart guy! - ^v^ LadyHawke}
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*
"Safe E-mail Q & A" (I just *love* this joke.... - ^v^)
Q. Do I have to be married to have safe E-MAIL?
A. Although married people E-MAIL quite often, there are many
single people who E-MAIL to complete strangers every day.
Q. My parents say they never had E-MAIL when they were young and
were only allowed to write their memos to each other until they were
twenty-one. How old do you think someone should be before they
can E-MAIL?
A. E-MAILing can be performed at any age once you learn the
correct procedures.
Q. If I E-MAIL something to myself, will I go blind?
A. Certainly not, as far as we can see.
Q. There is a place on our street where you can go to pay to E-MAIL,
is this legal?
A. Yes! Many people have no other outlet for their E-MAIL drives
and must pay a "professional" when their need to E-MAIL becomes
too great.
Q. Should a cover always be used for E-MAILing?
A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are E-MAILing to, a cover
should be used to insure safe E-MAIL.
Q. What happens when I incorrectly do the procedure, and I E-MAIL
prematurely?
A. Don't panic, many people prematurely E-MAIL when they haven't
E-MAILed in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind if
you try again.
Q. I have a personal and a business E-MAIL, can transmissions
become mixed up?
A. Being bi-E-MAILual can be confusing, but as long as you use
a cover with each one, you won't transmit anything you're not
supposed to.