LadyHawke
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"Things To Do To Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner"
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss
it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table.
Announce that It's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful
for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught." and refuse to say
anything more
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the
VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last
two minutes of the game When he comes into the room, turn
off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive
conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During Mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told
you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration
date. You were worried for nothing.?
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"Thanksgiving Dinner on the run." A woman called <their
number> to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey.
To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist
asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded,
"I don't know, it's still running around outside."
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"A Poem" (Keep your mind out of the gutter! - LadyHawke)
I saw you across a crowded room.
Among all the others that were there,
The lights seemed to shine down on you alone.
I knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home.
>From the car, I carried you & threw the door.
Looking at you, I admire your body,
Your well shaped legs, and breasts.
Slowly I remove what wraps,
around your body so tightly,
fitting you like a glove.
Exposing your tender white skin.
>From your neck I remove your charms,
and carry you off in my arms,
to the warm water that awaits.
The water cascades down your neck,
flowing over your soft breasts then,
making your legs glisten with wetness.
Droplets of water cover your taut skin.
My hands rub your body, ummmm
running them threw the beads of water.
Making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you.
You are warm and moist,so ready.
I carry your still dripping body,
to a laying place, so that I can
put inside you what was well
prepared to enter you before
we even came through the door.
As soon as I lay you down
your legs spread open wide.
You are ready now, and so am I.
I put a little in slowly at first,
getting a feel for how much you can take in.
I put in more, you take it willingly.
In anticipation, faster and faster
I put it in, pushing it in deeply
as far as I can, until I can't
put any more in, you are so tight.
With your legs wrapped tightly,
not wanting to release any of it,
I make you so hot for a very long time,
until your sweet juices escape from within.
Then I taste you, with my tongue at first,
your skin is so soft and tender.
I taste more of you with my mouth,
you are so hot and moist, you taste so good.
Your juices coating my mouth,
making me drool in anticipation
of eating you more, with every taste.
"Oh yes", I say to you,
"I must say Grace"
"Thank Heaven for Butterball turkey.... Amen"