Two cowboys are out in the woods rounding up cattle. They
stop to cook some lunch when Tex decides he needs to pee.
He ambles off a short distance and starts to do his business,
peeing over a fallen log. On the log, a rattlesnake had been
sunning himself and, of course, didn't take kindly to the bath
he got.
So the snake up and bit the cowboy on his "Johnson." Now
Tex didn't like being bit there very well and started to scream
bloody murder. His friend Rex came running to see what
the commotion was all about.
Rex asked Tex what happened and was quickly told the
details, "What kind of medical treatment is used?" asked Tex.
"I don't know, but I do remember hearing that you should stay
still and be clam. I'll ride to town and get the Doc or find out
what to do."
So Rex rode to town, not sparing the horse, pulling up to the
Doctor's office in a cloud of dust, ran in and told the Doc a
rattler had bit Tex, but not any of the details.
"What needs to be done Doc, can you come out and take
care of Tex?"
"Mrs. Ryan is about to have her baby so I can't come. But
here's what needs to be done. You make a cut with this
scalpel in the shape of an X by the fang mark, then you
have to suck all the poison out."
"Say, Doc, what happens if this ain't done?, asked Rex.
"It's very likely that Rex could die." said the Doc.
Rex rode back to Tex in not as fast a trip and found him
lying in the shade not feeling too well.
"WHAT DID THE DOC SAY? Tex hollered seeing Rex
looking rather distraught.
"Well... He said you gonna die, ol' boy!" said Rex.
<>*<>*<>*<>*<> Quickie du Jour <>*<>*<>*<>*<>
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in my neighbourhood to my house.
We had an enormous feast. Then I killed them and
took their land. (Uknown)
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
"Special Occasions" (Author Unknown)
This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me
because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened.
My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her
first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed
one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read the box in the
cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping
napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told
me that those were for special occasions.
Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and
my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for
Dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were
gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they
returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst
into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began
giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.
Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment
when she saw each place setting on the table with a
"special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails
in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me
why I used these and, of course, my response sent the
other adults into further fits of laughter.