16. Approximately 5% of people who visit the Hard
Rock Cafe go there for the food.
15. Bob Marley once confessed to shooting the deputy
AND the sheriff, but, in a special government offer, only
plead guilty to the lesser count of "jammin'"
14. Mariah Carey is not only a pop diva; she has her
own Amway distributorship.
13. Remarkably, the Grateful Dead NEVER did drugs,
although Jerry Garcia did have a penchant for poppy
seed bagels.
12. The Turtles? Happier *apart*, actually.
11. Contrary to popular belief, John Tesh's music
DOES NOT suck -- Actually, what he performs cannot
legally be classified as "music."
10. During performances, Tom Jones keeps Michael
Jackson's original nose in his pants.
9. Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" was written in nineteen
minutes after a particularly breathtaking tryst with
then-British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
8. Fiona Apple's real name? Fiona Pomegranate!
7. If all the Spice Girls CDs sold so far were laid end-to-end,
it would be pretty easy to run them over with my car.
6. Old social cause of 60s rockers: arms control. New
social cause of 60s rockers: bladder control.
5. Rejected Spice Girl "Grotesque Spice" none other than
Marilyn Manson.
4. During the wedding ceremony of Michael Jackson and
Lisa Marie, Elvis spun in his grave at a perfect 45 RPM.
3. The Spice Girls? All transvestites, and Julliard grads,
to boot!
2. Early in their respective careers, Michael Jackson won
the title, "King of Pop," from Bobby Goldsboro in a poker
game.
1. Village Person "The Senator?" None other than Jesse
Helms.
*******************************************************************
"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument
capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all
you can do is scratch it."
--Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist.
*******************************************************************
"Bad Connection"
A husband went to work at 9 in the morning as usual.
For some reason he had to be back home later during
the day while running some errands. When he entered
the house, he was surprised to see his wife in bed with
a man who placed his head on her breasts.
The husband demanded, "What on earth are you doing?"
To which the stranger nonchalantly replied, "Quiet! I am
listening to music !!"
The husband shoved the stranger aside and said, "Let me
listen!" and placed his head on his wife's breasts.
He exclaimed in suspicion, "I don't seem to hear any music."
"Of course not," quipped the stranger, "You're not plugged in!"