Two boys are playing football in Central Park when
one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking
quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby
fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists,
breaking the dogs neck.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and
rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan
Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing
in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you
were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jets
Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he
continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the
Giants or Jets. "What team do you root for?" the
reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and
writes,
"Little Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."
***********************************************************
You know how tough things are in New York these days.
A fellow came up to another one and said, (speak in a
broad East Indian accent) "Can you tell me what time it is,
or shall I just go screw myself?"
***********************************************************
"New York City Poll"
A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations
building in New York City. He approached four men
waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North
Korean and a resident New Yorker.
He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion
on the current meat shortage?"
The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?"
The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?"
The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?"
The New Yorker replied, "What is 'excuse me'?"