Q. What kind of ticks do you find on the moon?
A. Luna-ticks!
Q. What kind of bulbs should you plant on the moon?
A. Light bulbs!
Q. How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One, but the whole collective enjoys the experience!
Q. What is an astronaut's favorite meal?
A. Launch!
Q. When is a window like a star?
A. When it's a skylight!
Q. What kinds of songs do planets like to sing?
A. Nep-tunes!
Q. What kind of poem can you find in outer space?
A. Uni-verse!
Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. It was already full!
Q. What did the astronaut cook for lunch?
A. An unidentified frying object!
Q. How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space?
A. On flying saucers!
Q. What's the best way to talk to a martian?
A. Long distance!
Q. What's a martian's normal eyesight?
A. 20-20-20
Q. Why is it that Capt. Kirk never tells martian jokes
at a party.
A. There may be some at the party.
Q. Why does Capt. Kirk flirt with every female of every
intergalactic species?
A. Because he can........ {hehehehe - LadyHawke}
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"World's Best Practical Joke?"
Everyone knows that the older someone gets,
the more gullable s/he becomes.
So, when John Glenn returns from space,
everybody dress in ape suits!
We only have a couple of days in which to bury
the Statue of Liberty up to her head.
********************************************************************
"The Top 15 Things You'll Never Hear at a Star Trek Convention"
15. ?Will the owner of the red Porsche 911, license plate
'STUDMFN', please turn your headlights off?"
14. ?Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me
look fat?"
13. ?Make it so, Baby, make it so."
12. ?It's pointless to compare the original crew to the Next
Generation, since they're only fictional characters anyway."
11. ?I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was
really deserving of all this attention."
10. ?Kirk, Picard... what's the difference, they're both
losers. I'll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day."
9. ?I got laid last night!"
8. ?Look! It's Eddie Murphy!"
7. ?You're nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part
of any Iron Man Triathlon."
6. ?Oooh, Girlfriend -- Just look at all these hunks!
Set your phaser for 'Love!'"
5. ?If you think the brie's good, you should try the
salmon pate."
4. ?To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Patrick Stewart."
3. ?Dammit, Jim -- I'm a has-been actor, not an
autograph-signer!"
2. ?Jim Beam me up, Scotty."
and the Number 1 Thing You'll Never
Hear at a Star Trek Convention...
1. ?Hey, guys, how 'bout we finish thiser at the topless bar?"
conversation over a
beer at the topless bar?"