The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from
one generation to the next, says that when you discover
you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
However, in modern business, because of the heavy
investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other
strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including but
not limited to the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share.
9. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harness several dead horses together for increased
speed.
13. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby
deducting its full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's
performance.
15. Do a time management study to see if the lighter riders
would improve productivity.
16. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses
run faster.
17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and
therefore performs better.
18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for
dead horses.
19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for
horses.
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
21. Apply for a government subsidy to retrain dead horses.
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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
Now, on my desk I have a workstation.....
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"The Boss's Itinerary"
To ensure that you have a good time on your trip to
Australia, your team members have planned and
developed a special itinerary to fill the time during
your leisure hours. Agenda follows:
Day 1: The "10 Deadliest Snakes" Fall Tour. You and
a guest will be escorted through the outback and
provided with the opportunity to handle and examine
each of the world's 10 most deadly snakes.
Day 2: The "Great White Encounter." You and your tour
guide will take a small boat to the Great Barrier
Reef, where you will be able to dive into the
chum-laden water and experience the beauty of the
Great White shark.
Day 3: The Aboriginal "Festival of Spears." You will
be the honored guest of a small aboriginal village as
they celebrate the subjugation of the aboriginal race
by the white man, with free liquor and a special
weapons exhibition.
Day 4: The "Crocodile Dundee" Petting Zoo. You will
be able to come up-close and personal with the
occasionally harmless salt-water crocodiles of the
Australian coast. Lucky audience members are asked
to participate in a croc wrestling exhibition.
Day 5: "Those Marvelous Morays." This tour will once
again return you to the beauty of the Great Barrier
Reef, where you will be allowed to hand feed special
finger-shaped sausages to the wild eels of Stubby
Hand Reef.
We hope you will enjoy your trip!
Your loyal employees.